…and I’m still here. Baby has today and tomorrow to decide to make an appearance on their own, but on Monday we head in for an induction. And I am *very* ready.
At dr’s appt last week (38w1d), I was 207 lb, BP down to 110/68 (much closer to my normal), baby’s HB ~ 129, 2 cm dialated, and “very soft.” That excused me from having to go in tomorrow night for cervical ripening; I now have to show up at L&D on Monday at 6:00 am. I am highly confident that I will be dilated to more than 2 by then – the mucous plug has been breaking down and I’ve had bloody show for several days now.
I had a bit of a breakdown the other night – l&d is scary, knowing that there is a definite possibility that I could die during this experience and there’s not a whole lot I can do about it. I just have to go through with it and trust in the care providers we have to keep everyone as safe as possible. Side note – my birth plans have always been the same: everyone comes out of this alive. For the other two, I also noted my desire for continued ability to have more kids if possible, but that even got dropped out of this one. I haven’t been very emotional about this being my last pregnancy, it still feels like the right thing to do for our family. I did almost start crying at the last heartbeat check since that’s the last time I’ll hear a baby’s HP from inside of me, but that’s counterbalanced by this also being the last time I’ll have to wake up multiple times each night to roll over in bed. Good things and bad things about every situation – and you can’t have one without the other.
I’ve come through the scared part now though to being more excited – I’m ready for this one to be out of my ribcage and snuggled up beside me. I’m also very excited about my hips and back getting to a place where they can start to heal so I can move around comfortably. It’s obvious at this point that baby and I are two separate people with two separate ideas of what is comfortable, and I think we’re going to be better off with a little more space between us.
Two more days! It is almost unreal that this is almost to the end!