We have a gendered pronoun …

… and “it” is now a “BOY”!

Sorry for the wait, this week has been insane.  But the ultrasound Tuesday went fantastically.  We walked in, I laid down, and then had to get Manly to take out my belly-button stud for me (for the record, no one told me ahead of time).  That done, I got some rather warm gel slathered on my belly and the nurse set the wand-thingy down on my stomach. 

And immediately asked if we wanted to know the sex.

Apparently our little one was laid out all spread-eagle and showing off.  I will confess right here that I STILL don’t know what she was looking at — I even have a printout with an arrow, but all I see is a head and some shadows. 

Everything else was “normal”.  I didn’t bother to get any measurements, because, eh, I really don’t care.  They won’t mean anything to me anyway.  Did get to hear the heartbeat again, but since she did it with the ultrasound I didn’t get told the count.  And the machine is estimating that the baby weighs about 15 oz at the moment.  The one thing about the whole experience (imagine me giving you an accusing look here) is that NO ONE told me that the technician would hit a frequency that would make my baby suddenly turn into Jack Skellington on the screen!  It’s kind of disconcerting to be thinking, “aw – that might be foot … no a nose” and then suddenly your baby turns into a jumble of vertebrae and ribs.  Which is cool and all, you know, that he has the correct skeletal structure, but really?  Kind of a sudden surprise.

Everyone has asked if we started crying at the moment, but no, we were both just so happy … we were laughing and joking with the technician, and it was just really beautiful.  Now later that night, when Manly laid his head down in my lap and snuggled his cheek up against my belly, yeah, I lost it a little.

The next question on everyone’s mind seems to be if we have a name yet, which we do — and we’re about 90% sure that it will be the final name.  But much as I love y’all, I’m not broadcasting it out to the internets.  Just accept that it’s very traditional and combines two family names.  It still seems strange to actually call him by that name though — we are still talking about “he” or “the baby” or “your baby.”  I think it will be a while before I can make it through the transition to an individual inside of me.

And now I’m off to go attend another friend’s surprise 30th bday party — we had one last weekend too, and at least 4 more before the year is over.  Y’all have a safe weekend!

 

Squeee

Manly was able to feel the baby Friday night, right after we got into bed

Come on, Tuesday…

 

Little voice

Manly’s grandfather passed away two weekends ago.  I never actually got to know him; he had Alzheimers, and it was already fairly advanced when we met.  I think he spoke to me once, but I could always tell that he never really grasped who I was and why I was there.  Almost all of Manly’s family came to town, and I can’t begin to describe how happy it makes all of them that I’m pregnant.  They are 2nd/3rd generation Americans, and many of their values are still traditional Italian values — big families, lots of babies, lots of food, and good red wine are enough to make any family gathering a memory.  I don’t think I’ve ever said, but Manly is the oldest of 5 and his father is one of 9.  The quote that keeps coming back to me that just breaks my heart is one from Manly’s aunt.  She had two children from a previous marriage and her oldest asked Granpa once (he was four at the time), “Whose grandfather are you?”  He answered, “I’m everyone’s grandfather, and I’m yours too.”  We had both been hoping that grandpa would still be alive when the baby came, and I cannot help but feel SO guilty that it is MY fault that Manly won’t be able to take our child to go see him.  If only…

I’ve been feeling the baby kicking for about 3 weeks now.  He/she/it is actually flickering against the edge of my laptop right now.  I will admit, I will frequently call Manly mid-afternoon just to share that the baby is moving around.  He’s ready to be able to feel him/her as well.  In one of our barely-awake, just-before-falling-asleep in bed conversations recently, he admitted that it’s still a little hard for him to feel connected since there’s no physical symptom other than my expanding waistline.  I love it though that he will rest his hand on my belly when we’re out together or as we curl up for bed.

Next Tuesday we find out whether the baby is a he or a she.  Everyone who has voiced their opinion so far has said “boy” — so much so that we both have admitted that it’s hard to think of the possibility of having a girl.  We’ve even picked out a name for a boy already, so if it’s not, um, we have some rethinking to do.

We have a crib and a mattress, way earlier than we thought we would.  Our order was supposed to be delivered the last weekend of July, so we haven’t even started clearing out the office yet.  And before we do that, we’re putting in new carpet and painting downstairs.  Have I mentioned that we haven’t ordered the carpet yet?  Oh yeah, we’re all on top of this organization thing.

 

Short and to the point.

Fuck the penguins.

 

Random bits of thoughts

I had my “16″ week appointment last week at 17w2d.  I had (at that point) gained 5 lb, my blood pressure was fine, and the baby’s heartbeat a lovely 158 bpm.  I’m set for an ultrasound and my “20″ week appointment at the end of June, when I’ll actually be a little over 21 weeks.  I think I’ve been feeling the baby move a little; it’s sporadic and very faint, but it’s there.  Maybe.  Or it may be my imagination.  And I was brave enough today to call the hospital and ask about childbirth classes, although I didn’t make it to the point of actually registering for one yet.

And now, for everyone’s favorite — all the bullet points of ideas that I don’t have the time/interest/motivation to delve deeply into, but are interesting to me:

• All of my recently-become-mother friends, when I complain or ask about something, are all “Oh yeah, that happened to me too and it sucked!”  But they NEVER warn me ahead of time.  I’ve started wondering if they simply don’t remember until I remind them.
• I am very much over this whole eating thing.  I’m tired of it.  I’m tired of being hungry and yet so indecisive that I can’t figure out what to eat.  This morning, I wanted a snack by the time I got to work, realized I had forgotten my lunch on the coffee table, and just about lost it.  And it wasn’t like it was anything special that I really wanted, or that I didn’t have snacks in the office, or that I couldn’t leave at lunch to get something else.  I’m just so TIRED of having to deal with food.
• It really sucks to start losing your mind, and yet be self-aware enough to know it’s happening.  See above comment about lunch — I knew rationally that it wasn’t worth getting upset over, and yet I was barely able to not start bawling in the parking lot.
• I just started sleeping with a body pillow (just the regular rectangle kind that I’ve had since I was in college), and the past few nights have been good.  Manly says I’m not tossing and turning as much, and I feel like I’m sleeping much deeper.  I think part of my problem has been that I like to sleep on my stomach and that’s starting to be uncomfortable.  Also, I highly recommend the tempur.pedic mattress; it has been SO good to lay down and have my back completely supported.
• I am starting to really get worried about work.  Not that I’m worried about keeping my job, I’m worried about how all the things we already have under contract will get done with me out for mat. leave.  We’re interviewing and trying to find someone for me to train as an addition to our team, but time is so short that there’s no way they will be completely up to speed and capable without me there.   And I REALLY don’t want to be working any while I’m technically on leave, but I’m beginning to think that that may not be a possibility.  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t so invested in my job, but I love the work and I love the people I work with, and I know exactly where the extra work will fall with me gone, and I already feel bad about that.
• We ordered our crib and we really need to get cracking on getting the furniture moved out of that room.  I think the only other thing we’re going to buy is a rug; we’re getting Manly’s rocking chair from his parents’ house and the chest of drawers from my parents’ and will refinish as needed.

———–

PS — don’t tell Manly, but I would totally have Chris Osgood’s babies if I had the opportunity.