Growing up, I always envisioned the Tooth Fairy as this nebulous cutesy sweet fairy, kind of like Tinkerbell but with a bag of teeth instead of flying powder.
Then I had my own kids.
I decided early on that we were not dealing with that put-your-tooth-under-the-pillow nonsense, oh no. We were getting a fairy door — ours looks like this, but kelly green. I think it was Dresden who first posted about having one? Anyway, it has been a FANTASTIC improvement over my childhood, or so I thought.
Until my child asked me what the Tooth Fairy does with the teeth she takes. “Ummm, I don’t know? Never thought about it.” (Mother of the YEAR material here, folks.)
“Well,” says child, “I think she takes them and carves keys out of them to unlock the fairy doors that she travels through.”
I think I just stared at child, mouth agape at the thought. “I think,” I said, “that that’s a terrifying idea.” Child just looked at me, shrugged, and went back to whatever they were doing before dropping that bit of horror into my life.
Then last night, the subject came up again. “The Tooth Fairy is kind of like Santa, she knows when you’re sleeping. She watches you all the time.”
Other child disagreed — “She does not know when you’re sleeping, she’s not a POSSUM.” I’m assuming that this has to do with some other ongoing argument between them, because I don’t have any clue why possums came into the conversation otherwise.
Y’all, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. I am no where near as creative as these fantastic little minds that I live with.
Recounting this to a guy at work who plays D&D, he looked at me and commented, “I don’t think you have a fairy; I’m pretty sure you have a fae.”
So the moral of the story is: stick with putting teeth under your pillows, cause you never know who’s going to come through your fairy door. You might get Tinkerbell, or you might get the tooth-carving winged opossum that has claimed our house. *shudder*