I thought I had grown out of my list-making ways. Then I started thumbing through my notebook.
My daily, weekly and monthly bullet journal lists.
Ideas to streamline my evening transition from work to home.
Christmas presents to buy.
End of year donations.
Dreaming and scheming for 2016.
Things to do before the end of 2015.
Christmas / advent activities.
Christmas card addresses.
Brain dump planning for 2016.
My 16 in ’16 list.
Proposed 2016 journal structure.
30 Simple Ways to Care for Yourself Over the Holidays.
My work project notes.
December Reflections prompt list.
Then I started thinking about my digital lists.
Goodreads Read / To Read Books.
Amazon wish list.
All the Pinterest boards.
That’s a lot of ink and electrons spilled to organize my thoughts and my ideas and my life. They keep me on track, let me offload mental tasking onto a hard format. Sometimes they act as a sounding board or a vision board for contemplation. They document my history and provide a roadmap for the future.
But they aren’t prayers.
Prayers don’t do anything. Prayers might make you feel better, but they are only words spoken to the air. There is no greater force out there granting my pleas to find my car keys while ignoring a desperate Syrian mother crying out on behalf of her children.
Prayer is capricious, making you feel like you are doing something while taking no action. I don’t need any more empty promises in my life. I need action and motion and progress. Meditation, focusing attention, those I understand. But praying and hoping that it does something? I’m out.