13. Circle

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This is the circle that I’ve been staring at all afternoon.  After drooling over my pattern stash the other day, I broke down and started a new one after the kids were in bed and Manly was out with his friends.  This one.  With Valentine’s Day coming up fast, it felt more seasonally appropriate than starting Christmas patterns again so soon.

One of my goals this year is to complete 6 patterns, including finishing.  It’s been very difficult the last few years to carve out time for stitching – it’s not a hobby that is grabby-toddler appropriate.  Sharp scissors, pointy needles, lots of little accessories that are oh so chokeable.  So of course the kids are attracted to my thread binders like little bees to honey.  But now that they’ve reached the point where they can play with each other and I can get 20 minute chunks to myself every now and then, I am going to put some effort into trying.  I picked this heart out because it is a single color and I only have to have a minimal number of things out at once – the hoop with fabric, scissors, my needle case (with a magnet on the back), and the thread I’m using.  So when I have to take a break I can quickly gather everything up and out of reach.  I have two other patterns that are in progress that I am determined to finish this year, and a third that I have picked out to start from scratch.  For the two remaining to meet my goal, I’m going to pick more out of my pattern stash depending on time and what thread I have already purchased.  I’d like to use up some of what I already have in stock rather than going out and buying more.

Having reached the point where we can send the kids off by themselves for a while, I find myself envying my friends who have completed their family building already.  Knowing that you never have to change another diaper, never have to deal with another 18-month sleep regression, never have to endure another round of teething – it has its appeal.  I told my mother in law the other night, I know we want a third, but I feel like we’re a little crazy for wanting to start over from scratch again.  With Mini and Smaller, we didn’t have a real break between them to realize what it was like to start getting my autonomy back.  But this time around I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I know what I will be giving up.  The flip side of that is that I also know exactly what I am going to get – another pregnancy, another birth, another first year of baby snuggles, another opportunity to watch a newborn learn and grow and turn into a child.

We might get lucky again, we might not, but I know I would regret it forever if we didn’t even try.

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