Updated 3/12/12 at 11:25 and at 11:36
Hello and welcome. I’m going to work under the assumption that you’re here from the LFCA or from the conversation that’s happening over at Mel’s. If you’re not, you might want to check the background posts to this discussion.
If you aren’t interested in the background reading, the summary is this: there has been a kerfluffle about the relationship between IF bloggers who are still in the trenches and IF bloggers that are parenting. Words were written, feelings were hurt, and now we, as a community, are trying to recover and move forward. This post is not one to describe my own perspective, but to allow YOU to participate in a conversation. My express goal here is to engender discussion, not necessarily a conclusion. I want to provide a platform for YOU to share your ideas, feelings, and experiences.
As a host/moderator, I want to outline my expectations for participation:
- I am requesting that you, as the discussion participant, refrain from attacking or blaming language. In support of this, here is a link to the Non Violent Communication model if you are interested.
- I am going to be participating in the conversation. I have selected these discussion questions because I am interested in them and interested in your response and experiences. I will add my own perspective below, and I will be asking questions if/when I am unclear about your response. I invite everyone who comments and everyone who reads to do the same. Multiple comments are welcome.
- I am also suspending my “normal” comments policy. I will not be censoring or editing comments. BUT! As a moderator, I feel an obligation to maintain a safe environment for all participants to express themselves. If you have a problem with another commenter, please contact me and we will try to resolve the dispute.
Now, for the discussion topics:
- If your infertility journey was resolved via parenting, do you think of yourself as a parent who dealt with infertility? Or as an infertile who is now parenting? Do you think that there is a difference between the two? Does your self-image shape the way you write? If your infertility journey was resolved (or ended, I’m unsure of how best to phrase this) without children, how did that affect your self-image as a writer in the ALI community?
- If your infertility journey was resolved via parenting,when you gave birth or were matched with your child, did you continue to post with the expectation that your readers now knew you had a child, move to a new blog space, change your blog name, provide “children mentioned” warnings in your titles, or some other path? If your infertility journey was resolved without children, did you continue to post with the expectation that your readers now knew you were not longer pursuing parenthood, move a new blog space, change your blog name, or some other path? What factors went into making your decision? If your infertility has not been resolved, how do you view and/or respond to the transition of those who are moving between states?
- Whose responsibility is it to protect the reader’s heart, the author or the reader? [This question to is very interesting to me because I have seen discussion on it outside of the IF community.]
Question #1 targets bloggers who are not “in the trenches,” so to speak, but I want to be crystal clear that this discussion space is for anyone at any stage: trying, parenting, adopting, living without. If you have an opinion you would like to share, please do. The doors are open.