Mini was a statistical improbability. We started trying in June 2005, and he wasn’t conceived until February 2009. In some of my research during that period I remember coming across a longitudinal study tracking conception rates. It’s been years, and I’m afraid I no longer have the link, but I remember that 97.something% of the couples were successful by the 3 year point — and that the research stopped at that time period. I was never able to find anything about rates after the three year mark, so I always used the “less than 3% chance” when referring to how lucky we were to get him.
After he was born, I never went back on birth control. I picked up a diaphragm but never used it — I didn’t start ovulating again until Mini was 8 months old. At that point, we discussed the possibility of me getting pregnant again, but neither of us believed it would happen. We even went so far as to decide that if I wasn’t pregnant by the time Mini turned 1, then we would go back to Dr. Local.
You can all see where this is going, I hope. Tuesday a week ago, I peed on a stick and it was positive.
I had clients in last week from out of state, so I wasn’t able to go in for a beta. I have a regular ob appointment scheduled for the 30th, at which point I’ll be about 8 weeks. I’ve hesitated about writing about this until then, given all that can happen this early, but I’m having trouble processing this.
Part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop; I’m still carrying around a pad with me in case … well, you know. The other part of me is trying to plan out how this is going to work out in
nine eight months. We’ve spent the last week discussing daycare options, whether Manly will continue working, whether to change Mini’s crib into a bed and just buy a plain crib-crib for the new baby, researching tandem nursing, strollers … It’s so early that I’m terrified that this will all come crashing down around my ears in two weeks, but I can’t help being giddy about it too.
I don’t know, I’m still spinning. I want this so badly, and I’m so happy about it, but I’m terrified.