My 10 year class reunion is going to be sometime in 2008. Our class president, surprisingly enough, put together a myspace page and a website to coordinate the event. I guess even slackers grow up eventually, and I’m thinking his stint in the military sped up the process. I’ve been very happy to reconnect with many of my friends from high school, many of whom are actually still here in the state, but scattered around. There are two or three folks that I’m still looking for, but the majority of my clique has been accounted for.
For the website, there are a few things listed on each profile: current photo, marital status, occupation, number of children, and website. Most of my friends have kids now, but there are a whole lot of people who don’t. There are also a whole lot of people that I thought would be married by now who aren’t, but that’s another story. Of course, I listed myself as married, no children, but I haven’t been able to broach the infertility subject with anyone. I think about explaining the situation, I think about listing the blog, and then I think about all the assvice and nasty comments that other bloggers have been subject to. My immediate circle has been amazingly understanding of our problem, but we see those folks all the time. With these people who WERE my life 10 years ago, I want to explain, I want to reconnect, I want to share. It’s on the tip of my … well, my typing, but I can’t seem to commit the words to paper. I’m afraid of what their reaction will be.
Who knows, maybe some of them struggled with infertility themselves. Maybe they got lucky, did a few rounds of clomid, and popped out a babe. But for all of the strength I’ve gained from blogging, I still can’t cross that social taboo and throw out in our first email in a decade that oh, we’re infertile and treatments haven’t worked, so we’re thinking about being childfree. I mean, what could they say in response to that? Nothing. There would be absolutely no response that would be guaranteed not to offend.
I know that if we, the infertile population, don’t start breaking the taboos and talking about IF, then no one will. But that doesn’t make it any easier to blaze that trail.