I’ve been pondering my status as a “young” infertile for quite a while now. Because we found out so early that we are infertile, we have a different set of circumstances than a lot of couples. On the positive side, we have about 8 years before I hit “advanced maternal age”, which means that I do have time, theoretically, to take a break if I need one or save up money for treatments or simply hope that a new, better, more guaranteed/successful process comes along. It means that I still have good quality eggs (in theory; that’s still untested) and a good ovarian response.
On the negative side though, being young means that I face more pressure to go ahead and resolve my infertility while I do have good ovarian response. Everyone warns me not to wait until it’s too late; not just other bloggers, but my RE, family, and random people I meet. Paradoxically, it also means that I have to fight being under-treated because “I’m so young” and “There’s no rush”. Being on the young side also means that I’m still in the very early stages of building my career. I’m trying to balance making sure that we have a shot at building a family with making sure that I take the appropriate steps to build a solid foundation of knowledge and experience that will keep me employed for the rest of my life. No matter what anyone tries to tell you, the two are mutually exclusive — there ARE times where you have to pick one or the other. For example, I’ve been thinking about changing jobs. But if I do that, I automatically will have to stop treatment for at least a year in order to build up competence and PTO in the new position.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that infertility sucks, no matter what time of your life you are in. Young, old, primary, secondary, MF, female factor, RPL, never have seen a line, there are challenges. And no matter where you are, it can seem like other people have it better, or easier. But really, that’s not true. The circumstances may be different, but that doesn’t make them better. At the end of the day, we all share the same fears, disappointments, anger, bitterness, and misery.
Ed. note: Just in case anyone besides me was wondering, I am indeed in the 2ww right now. I’m pretty sure, anyway. I temped yesterday and this morning, and both times came in in my normal post-ovulation range. I’m guessing that I have roughly 1 1/2 to 2 weeks before my period shows up. So I have that long at least to make a decision.