We’re interrupting your regularly scheduled 100 Things for a special presentation of Infertile Trivia! (applause) The first player to answer each question correctly will win house points towards our fabulous year-end prize, plus a small parting gift of points will be awarded to each player who participates! (applause) Okay, is everyone ready?
Question 1, for 5 points. You’ve spent the last week working on a huge proposal for work, and you’ve finally handed it over to the FedEx guy. When you get home late, does your loving husband:
A) Suggest you go out to dinner with a friend
B) Suggest you go out to dinner, but then sits down on the couch to watch the Food Network while you starve.
C) Suggest you go out to dinner and then spring a surprise baby-shower-gift-buying-trip on you before you get to the restaurant.
D) All of the above.
Question 2, for 10 points. You’re shopping with a friend for baby-shower gifts for your SIL. What are you thinking?
A) I wish I was buying c.lassic-pooh-themed baby items for me.
B) Dear god, the baby section! Nooooooo!
C) Did she register for any basics at all? What’s up with all this frilly shit? The kid’s not going to have any onesies.
D) Hmmm. Tarjay’s baby registry is much more understandable than B.abies-R-U.s.
Question 3, for 5 points. There are baby items in your house awaiting the shower. How do you feel about that?
A) I’ll hide it in the guest room and pretend this isn’t happening, lalala…
B) The fertility gods are looking down on my misery and laughing hysterically.
C) The fertility gods know that I didn’t buy it for myself, so they won’t smite me for my arrogance.
D) I’m jinxing myself by having that stuff even in the house. Now I’ll never get pg.
Question 4, for 10 points. What gift wrap do you choose for the large squishy thing you bought?
A) A baby-pink and white striped bag and pink tissue paper, with a matching sincere-yet-cheesy card wishing her joy in her new babe.
B) A hot pink bag with green and brown tissue paper (to make it as annoying as possible for your BIL who wanted a boy) and a card picked out because it matched the tissue.
C) A pastel yellow bag with c.lassic pooh on the front and a handwritten note tucked in.
D) A bag printed with “Baby” spelled out in wooden-block style letters and a matching card signed by you and your husband.
And last, our bonus round question: The morning of the shower, you will be at 16dpo. Your luteal phase is usually 16 days long. Do you:
A) Test, knowing that if it’s negative, you will probably fall apart at least once during the festivites.
B) Wait it out, knowing that if it’s negative, you will probably fall apart at least once during the festivites.