Congratulations Becky!

So yeah, if you haven’t been over to TeamWinks yet this morning, go.  Now.  I mean it, shoo!  Come back when you’re done!

Okay, heard the good news?  Then you can now come back here and hang out with my pack.

At your request, making their blog debut, I’d like to introduce the Very Bad Pets ™. 


These were taken this morning, in the midst of active Badness.  The Very Bad Dog had scared Very Bad Cat, Size Small, up the tree in the back yard, where she proceeded to hang out and growl at him from above while he barked at her from below.  The pictures don’t show it, but she curled up in that tree branch made herself comfy — she’s not in any danger of getting stuck up there.  The Very Bad Cat, Size Medium, was unimpressed and decided to lay in the dirt and chase bugs while watching to see if her sister was going to come down any time soon.  There is also a Very Bad Cat, Size X-Large, but he had split out to go hunting before all the commotion started.  He was quite upset with me, since I popped him on the head for hissing at VBC, SM, while they were eating this morning.  He also left a chipmunk to rot right beside my car door, so we know how he feels about me right now.  Ick.


Reading back over the last few entries, they sound very sad to me.  But I really, really want you guys to understand that I’m in a very good place right now.  Unfortunately, y’all get to hear all the unpleasantness that I’m cleaning out of my skull.  I made the comment over at Max’s Mommy the other day that when I’m anxious or worried, I try to run through the worst-case outcome in my head and figure out what I would do in response to that.  And it hit me the other day, that even if we’re never able to have kids, I’ll be able to live through it.  I’ll have good days and bad days, but most of the time I’ll be okay.  I’ll be able to enjoy life.  I’ll spoil my nieces and nephews, I’ll drive expensive cars, I’ll travel.  There will be times when I’m sad, times when I’m angry, times when the vision of a pregnant woman will blow my mind.  But I’ll get over it.  Life goes on, and I’ll take it a step at a time.  In my head, I’m trying on the idea of living childfree.  I know it’s a long way off, but I’m going ahead and breaking in the idea, just-in-case, so that it doesn’t rub blisters if it comes to pass. 

Adoption is still a little out there to me, but I’m squeezing my hips into that outfit as well.  Right now, it’s a little tight in the wrong places and feels like a weird fit, but it has potential.  It’s running the same path as childfree — a few weeks ago I realized that if someone just walked up and handed me a baby, I’d take it.  It wouldn’t bother me at all.  But the process of navigating all the legalities and paperwork to get to the baby still squigs me out, as well as some of the moral obligations that I would become subject to.  But it doesn’t hurt for me to get used to the idea, to think that maybe, someday, I might go down that path.

In the meantime, Manly and I are enjoying life.  I’m making an effort to get out of the house and be more social with my friends, work is going well for both of us, the summer is beautiful, and I’m happy with myself.  As a matter of fact, I’m staring down the barrel of a kitchen-renovation-turned-into-major-remodeling-project later this year, so it’s not like we don’t have plenty to keep my mind off of IF.  I’m focusing on making the mental transition from “Oh my god, I’m infertile and I’m freaking out about it” to a place where my infertility is integrated into my life.  It’s part of who I am, but it does not define me.  I define who I am.


8 thoughts on “Congratulations Becky!

  1. I love your furbabies. I may have to copy you and share mine sometime. As for the part of defining my own life….I really need your outlook. While I have accepted infertility it is defining much of my life. Thank you…I hope I can follow your attitude very soon.

  2. I find your rotten animals adorably cute!

    I think we all need to find our own way through this journey, and do what feels right. We will go through phases before finally finding our way.

    Can’t wait to see you Sunday!

  3. Can I just say that your kids are delicious? I so miss the warmth and companionship of animals. We lost our dog last September and we’ve been without cats (my favorite) for awhile now. Sigh.

    And I’m glad your head is in such a good place right now. Good for you.

  4. It sounds like both your pets and your life are something to be cherished! Thank you putting your positive thoughts and feelings out there. Reading about the good in others lives helps to put my own situation in perspective and I think it really is contagious!

    Have a good day!!!

  5. thank you for sharing such feelings and awesome pictures -it is a sigh of relief reading others thoughts/fears/plans on this lonely road thats not so lonely after all

  6. Pet pictures are always welcome, even if they are Very Bad Pets!

    I’m glad you are feeling in a good place right now, and I didn’t think your last few posts sounded very sad, but it is sad to comtemplate a life without children. Your attitude is great and one that I aspire to, that life will be okay, enjoyable, no matter what the outcome, and one that I think is true. At least for me, considering the potential loss is a kind of grieving process, and I’m glad to have the blog to lay out my feelings.

  7. They may be Very Bad, but they are also Very Cute. 🙂

    I’m always impressed to hear what your thought process is and how hard you strive to find that balance and intergration of IF with the rest of your life. I think it’s especially difficult to do since we have so few role models out there and we’re all tasked with making it up as we go along and figuring it out for ourselves. Good for you for consciously making the effort.

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