There was popular outcry to see the wedding dress photo, so here you go.
Unfortunately, the other dresses were not so photogenic, so I didn’t get more shots. Several were in cases above my waist-level, and the angle was just too high for me to get a good picture. I also could not use a flash, which is very bad with my camera.
When I was walking through this exhibit, I couldn’t help but think back to my own wedding day. It was the happiest day of my entire life; everything turned out exactly like we wanted it to. The flowers were beautiful, I felt like a princess in my dress, the pictures turned out fabulous, my mother managed not to panic being up in front of the church, everyone except Manly cried through the ceremony (including his groomsmen and the pastor), and the reception afterwards was basically just a big party for our families and friends. At that point in our lives, we weren’t even thinking about kids.
And now here we, almost five years later, and my life seems to be revolving around our inability to reproduce. I keep a picture of us from the reception on my desk at work, and some days I wonder where that carefree smile I had has gone to. Everything these days seems so serious, so focused. That’s part of the reason that I spend so much time trying not to think about IF, and why I write about it so much here. These feelings and these thoughts are constantly on my mind, and if I don’t get them onto paper, I obsess over them all day long.
We talk over and over about whether the struggles of IF are worth the personal growth we experience. Some days I feel like they are; some days, I just want to be that innocent girl on her wedding day again.