Two Things, and Their Result

Thing 1: It just hit me today that the weight I’ve gained in the last two months is likely because of the femara.  I don’t know if that happens to everyone since femara is supposed to have less side-effects than clomid, but I’m pretty sure it’s related.  It’s only 5 pounds, but it’s a big deal to me.  It’s also going to be a pain in the ass to lose the weight if I’m fighting against the medication.  I was already considering going on South Beach, but I think I’m at the point where I must do something now, before it gets worse.

Thing 2: I know that my emotions feed off of each other, and that point was just driven home last night.  I was already feeling tender from the HSG results, and then I played online all day at work instead of being productive (which always makes me feel stressed and guilty), and then I had to drag myself to dinner with friends.  By the time we left the house, I was almost in tears.  But after getting to spend some time with Manly and being social with the folks at dinner, I was feeling better. 

If I’m going to keep IF from seeping into all the corners of my life, I need to engage in activities that promote happiness and contentment in my life, not ones that allow me to magnify all the bad feelings I have.  I have to start doing creative projects again, I have to do worthwhile work that make me feel productive and proud of myself, and I have to make a point to acknowledge the beauty and abundance in life around me.  There are a lot of things that I was doing that I have allowed to slip over the last few months, mainly due to work, and I need to correct that before it gets worse.

Given those two things, I’m going to publicly put some resolutions out there, and I hope you guys will help hold me accountable for them:

• I am going to start going back to the gym at least 3x per week.  Starting this afternoon, with Friday yoga.  I got lazy and quit going, but taking this class helped me clear my mind of work-related stress and transition into the weekend with a clean slate.
• On Monday morning, I will start South Beach.  I am going to commit to doing at least the two week introduction phase, and I’ll re-evaluate how well it works after that point.  If I’m not seeing any effect, I will try something else.  My goal is to lose the 5 femara pounds, and then to keep losing in five pound increments.  Ultimately, I need to lose 25 pounds to get down to a “normal” BMI.   
• I forgot to mention this, but I’m on day 3 of trying to give up caffeine.  I pretty much have to drink a little each day to keep my migraines at bay, but I’m down to one glass/can of soda each evening.  At work I’m drinking de-caf soda and water.
• Prioritization at work is key: I will delegate everything to my student assistant that I can, and focus on writing, research, and project management.  I must complete or make significant progress on at least two to-do items each day. 
• Each evening, upon getting home, I will spend 30 minutes doing something at the house, whether it’s cleaning or paying bills or planting flowers.  I will not just go home and flop on the sofa.
• I will spend at least two hours each week working on some kind of creative project.  I signed up for the 101 Things project at the beginning of the year, so I will begin by working through that list.

I, Sharah, do hereby promise to do my best at completing the tasks I set here.  And I ask all of you to periodically call me out and ask me what I’m doing in order to fulfill my promise.  Everybody on board?