There was a question in the Barren Bitch Book Tour yesterday asking: if you could know ahead of time how your journey towards parenthood would end, would you want to find out?
Reading through the responses to this question really got me thinking. If I knew this all this effort would result in a Real Live Baby ™, I would definitely want to know. But if I was unable to ever get pg . . . that’s harder for me. Part of what keeps me going every day is the hope that someday, maybe this will work. Knowing that I have a good prognosis and that any given month I have about a 20% chance of this working is enough to keep me on the hamster wheel. But at the same time, if this is not ever going to work, I would want to spend the money on other things instead of wasted treatment. Adoption fees, retirement accounts, doting on my future nieces and nephews … those things are important too.
Given that, I think that I would take the opportunity to find out what the future had in store for me. If it was a RLB, then I would be able to face each cycle with the certainty that someday it would definitely work. I honestly don’t have that certainty now — when other people affirm that they “will be a mother someday”, I just can’t share that sentiment. Adoption is something that I’m very uncomfortable with, even though living childless would be incredibly painful. If I knew that I would never be able to get pg, I could start the grieving process and begin to move my life in a different direction.
Moving on, if you didn’t read the comments yesterday, I’m leaving town again this afternoon and will be gone tomorrow. So your assignment this time is to visit Stories of Sharing. Share a story with them, and Country Crock will donate a meal to America’s Second Harvest. It only takes a minute, so go and give.