Family Ties

Thank you all for your comments on that last post!  My husband’ts family can be a bit … difficult to deal with most of the time.  And I was feeling especially vulnerable the other night, so the littlest things were quite hurtful.

There are actually several people who do know what’s going on now; his mom and dad have been told, and his brother and his wife know that we’ve been trying for two years.  He explained to Detroit-aunt what was happening when she asked the other night, so it will spread through the family up there in about 24 hours (as soon as she gets back home, she’ll be on the phone).  D-aunt actually told him that one of his uncles went through the same thing with their first, so that part of the family does have some sympathy; they just weren’t the ones at dinner.  Manly runs interference on the communication with his relatives, and the word is getting out slowly.  I know he’s trying to protect me because there WILL be assvice next time I see anyone who knows.

Like any family, there are some people who I really would like to talk to; my MIL and my littlest SIL would be ideal.  Other people, like D-aunt and my BIL, fall in the clueless but caring category.  I don’t mind if they know, but they are notorious for trying to help and I know that at some point, they will say crap that will be painful.  But at least they’re trying, and that counts for a lot.  Then there’s the third category that I don’t want to know, specifically one uncle and g-ma, who will find a way to make innocent sounding comments that are really quite nasty.  The catch-22 is that if I tell the people who would support me, eventually it will get back to the people I don’t want knowing. 

This year will be our five year anniversary, so our grace period for not having babies yet is running out.  We might get another year, and then people are going to start really asking what’s going on, and we won’t be able to fend them off.  I know that we’re going to have to come clean eventually, but I’m trying to hang on to this last bit of privacy that I’ve got.

Anyway.  I’m headed out for a work trip for the next few days.  I’ll try to post a few times, but it will be pretty late at night.  Hmmm.  I’m short on time this morning, so for your  distraction, go on over to Infertile Fantasies and click on Bea’s adsense ads.  She’s donating the money from adsense as part of her 50 good deeds in 07, so help her out.

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6 thoughts on “Family Ties

  1. Ah, yes, family. You can’t only claim blood relation to the ones you like, you have to admit kinship to the ones you don’t, too. I hope the good behavior of the ones you like cancels out the bad behavior of the ones you don’t!

  2. It’s the problem of telling. If you tell you get support (and assvice, and stupid comments, and silliness), and if you don’t you get none of the good or the bad.

    I never know which one I can bear. *Sigh*

    Hope your trip goes well!

  3. I don’t know if this will work for you, but at some point I just decided to go on the offensive informationally. Every family member I saw I would just innundate with whellbarrows of medical minutae, sprinkled with embarassing details. After a while, they learned not to ask. Now they just read my blog for updates and stay quiet.

    Keeping my fingers crossed for success with your letrazole cycle.

  4. I am with Blinky. I have turned into a real broad and I am o.k. with that. 🙂 Now when I get the typical advice, I usually reply “have you tried that? That shit doesn’t work and frankly I am insulted that you suggested it” I mean really who really enjoys sitting for 30 minutes with a pillow under their ass while the hubbo gets to go watch t.v.? I also tell ppl “just because you saw it on the internet or heard about it through the rumor mill doesn’t mean it works” I have also told my MIL “Do you have a medical degree? Do you specialize in Reproductive Endocrinology?” She had suggested that I really don’t have an endocrine disease I was just not trying hard enough! At least you have Manly to run interference my husband is afraid of his family. I think the best think is to start standing up for yourself. Because frankly it really isn’t anyone’s business why you don’t have children. It is as if they are suggesting they come and watch to check if you are doing it right.

  5. Oh that would be perfect! Next time, I’ll just invite them to come in the bedroom and watch to make sure we’re doing it right! That will ensure that they NEVER mention the subject again.

    Now I’m looking forward to getting some assvice *evil grin*.

  6. Have a good trip, and thanks for the mention – I just checked the account and we’re up to USD45 – so keep clicking, you need $100 to get the money “released” for donation!

    As for family, well, sometimes they need a little “guidance”, sometimes they need a lot. And then there’s the lost causes. It still seems to me that persistance pays.

    Bea

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