Sigh.

Waking temp: 98.0. 

I’ve been striving to manage hope this cycle.  First I was hoping.  Then I convinced myself that it wasn’t going to happen and I stopped hoping.  Now, 16dpo and my temp is still up.  So I took a peek at my date wheel. (Side note: I got this thing when I was working as a project planner a few years ago.  Becky was amazed that I have my very own wheel, but I didn’t realize they weren’t common.  I keep it at work.)  Now I’m hoping again. 

I actually googled “hope” this morning.  I’ve never done that before.  It’s interesting to see what pops up, especially in the wikipedia article.  Did you know that hope is usually contrasted with despair in religious literature?  It makes sense, but I never really put the two together. 

So this is what I’m thinking right now:

  • Cause for hope: high temp at 16dpo; everyone seems to have no symptoms in the 2ww even with successful pg
  • Cause for despair: no symptoms; it’s never worked before – why would it work now?; my SIL’s candle ceremony is Saturday and it would be too sunshine-and-daisies if I was pg too, that’s just not going to happen

Thanks for sticking with me through this.  I know my posts have been a little … scattered recently, but that’s how I’ve been thinking.  I’ve already decided that I’m not testing until at least 19 dpo, if I get that far, so I have a few more days ahead of me like this.  Honestly, if I am not pg, then we should know by tomorrow.  Two more days after that is just my safety factor for making sure that I am 16dpo after all possible ovulation dates (everybody remember those 5 follicles?).  Gotta cover all bases, right?

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3 thoughts on “Sigh.

  1. You’re killing me here!!! I admire your ability to wait. Ummm…patience has never been a strong suit of mine. So, this means that I will be checking your blog on Easter? I can see it now…fellow infertile friend sneaks off to back room of husband’s eighty year old grandma’s birthday party to see if her friend has managed to defeat the odds and achieve the infamous double pink lines!

    Ok, I’ll do my best to be patient and do all I can….WAITT.

  2. Um, hullo, where did you get your stellar patience, and can I have some please?
    Seriously, do I have to wait another few days? hehehe. 🙂

    I know you know you don’t have to have symptoms, but I’m going to reiterate the point. At 61/2 weeks I have practically NOTHING to comment on with regards to symptoms. Nada. And my numbers are high. You just never know.

    I’m really hoping for you.

  3. Wow – you are an iron woman for not testing yet. Tell despair it’s not allowed to visit your house. Only hope has the password. Fingers-crossed for you, Sharah.

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