In the past two years, I have had just about every pregnacy symptom that shows up in those “am I pregnant?” Google searches. Sore boobs? Check. Nips of agony? Check. Exhaustion? Check. Bloating? Check. Morning/afternoon nausea? Check. Temp dip at 8 dpo? Check. Implantation spotting? Check. Gagging on toothbrush? Check. Creamy/eggwhite/copious CM? Check. You name it, and I’ve probably had it. But even with all those symptoms in various combinations, I have never, not once, seen a second line on a stick. Even by the light of a thousand suns, there is nothing there. My periods have never been even a day late. So at this point, I’m feeling kind of like the girl who cried wolf.
This cycle, like my last cycle with clomid/trigger, I’m feeling incredibly bloated and swollen in my abdomen. I swear that my left ovary, the one that had the most follicles, has just gotten back to a normal size in the last few days. I was cramping earlier this week, and last night I felt like I had pulled a muscle in my abdomen when I laid down. I’ve had a few spells of nausea/dizziness, but I’m fairly certain that has more to do with the crap in my sinuses (thank you allergies!) draining than anything else. I’ve been falling asleep on the couch every night around 9:00.
Given my history of pg fake-outs, I’m discounting most of these symptoms as normal for my un-pg cycle. But I just can’t help myself from thinking, “But what if this time it’s for real?” I keep going back to all those stories of women who swear that the cycle they got pg was exactly like all of their other cycles. I feel like I’m just setting myself up for disappointment in a week, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but hope.