I started to respond to the comments from the last entry (thank you all!), but then realized that I had more say on the subject of work than a comment could handle.
One thing that I think is important background knowledge about our situation is that I am the primary breadwinner in our household. Manly makes about 2/3 what I do before taxes. That is not something that will ever change; I follow a professional career, while he follows a trade. He is very good at what he does, but the jobs available to him simply do not offer the same kind of money that mine do. We have always planned for him to be a stay-at-home dad after kids because of the inequality in salaries. I do not have the option of being a full-time parent unless we accept sacrifices that, frankly, we are not prepared to make. So I have to advance in my career in order to keep our family in mortgage payments and consumables. This means that taking time off from TTC is a definite future possibility, but stalling in my career is unacceptable.
Second, my current job offers me a good salary, a highly flexible schedule so I can come and go as I need without anyone really caring, and fantastic insurance. All my bloodwork, testing, and ultrasounds are completely covered, as well as the oral meds are (subject to co-pays). ART, either IUI or IVF, is not going to be covered. The downside is that there is little room for advancement in position. I can make more money, I can gain more responsibility, but a title promotion is not going to come any time soon. The other uncertainty is that my department (within my company) is a little unstable. If we were to lose some key people, the department could very well disintegrate. The company would not go under — I would still have a job, but I would end up being shuffled into another department where I might or might not be happy. It is unlikely that this would happen, but it is a possibility.
Since I’ve just finished my master’s degree, and I’ll have my professional liscensing practicum finished in May, now would be the time to start looking for another job. It would be beneficial to my career in the long-term and probably result in more money immediately, but I would lose the flexibility and the insurance coverage would not be as good as what I have now. Also, if I was to leave, I would almost certainly end up as a military contractor, and I’m not entirely comfortable working for the military (it’s an ethical problem for me to work at making more efficient ways to kill people). Working in contracting also means that my advancement opportunites are limited; there’s a “gray ceiling” of retired military advisors who occupy the top level of almost all companies in this town. If I stay where I am, my career will not be harmed, and I can still move forward, but I will end up with less money in the short term and a less-strong resume.
Basically I have two paths before me, and I have to choose one. They will lead me in different directions, each with its own benefits and consequences. I have a few months before I have to make a decision, but eventually I have to make a decision whether to stay or go, and that will determine the course of my life for years to come. And that’s what I’m struggling with.
In the short term, I’m going to be struggling with simply being in town for my upcoming RE appointments. I go in on Monday for a follicle scan, and then leave for an overnight trip. So I’m praying that I don’t have to trigger Monday night by myself. Then two weeks from now, when I will most likely need a CD3 scan and bloodwork, I’m going to be gone again. Gah. Is it possible to tell my client that they need to send everyone to my town for training rather than me going to them? A girl can dream, can’t she?