If you haven’t already heard, the Boy is here with us — he joined our family last Thursday night.  8 lb 3 oz, 20 inches long and absolutely beautiful.

I’ve been trying to piece things together for a real post, but that looks like it’s a while off now.  Cliff notes version, short easy labor (with the epidural which was totally worth it), followed by jaundice, milk coming in latelate, and finally things starting to look like they’ll sort themselves out. 

I’ll be around, and hopefully get to finish up my birth story post which got half-done in the hospital and is now wasting away in my drafts folder. 

Be back as soon as I can!

Some choice quotes from the other night with my husband’s family:

• Gramma: Why, you’re not nearly as big as I thought you’d be by now!
• Aunt: Oh, she’s ready to deliver any day now — just look at her nose!
• SIL: Let me break it to you, you won’t be getting your belly back any time soon.

Thanks.  Just thanks.

I started having contractions Tuesday afternoon, which freaked me out enough to call Manly and ask him to keep his phone nearby, which freaked him out enough to come home and stay with me even though all I did was go upstairs to take a nap.  Since then I’ve been contracting on and off, randomly.  Some of them are painless Braxton-Hicks, some of them feel more like menstrual cramps but wrapping around to my lower back.  But nothing that suggests that anything real will be happening anytime soon.

Of course this is when Manly’s family decides to come into town.  And his aunts all want to TOUCH me.  Which is something that makes me a little uncomfortable on any given day, but right now totally makes me want to lose my mind.  His entire family is very huggy and wants kisses and to rub my belly.  But I have been feeling very … vulnerable, I guess, is the best description.  My body is not mine anymore, and I’m having to be careful not to run into furniture or hit my stomach when I open doors.  Stairs make me feel like I’m just going to topple over.  Add into that the I’m-due-at-any-moment-and-just-want-to-protect-this-baby-until-he’s-out feeling, and the idea of people who are not Manly or my mother laying hands on me makes me want to curl into a ball and hide in the corner.

And since they’re all leaving this weekend, everyone is telling me I HAVE to have the baby before they go back to NorthernCity. 

Yeah, right.

Another quickie since I’m supposed to be helping someone else with a project…

• 37 weeks is considered full-term at their office, and they would not do anything to stop labor at this point
• 3+ cm dialated (almost 4)
• 25% effaced
• -2 station
• negative for group b strep
• blood pressure 114/64
• no weight gain since last visit (up total of 24 lb at this point)
• baby’s heart beat 154 bpm
• quote, “If I was a betting man, I’d bet that you won’t make it til next week’s appointment.”  Sharah’s note: remember, this is the same guy who told me I wouldn’t make it to term last visit.
• if I haven’t delivered by my appointment next Monday, they’ll look to see what his schedule is the week that I’m due and we can schedule an induction on a day he is on call (if I want it).  Per his professional opinion though, I’m not going to need one.  I’m apparently “very favorable” for delivery via Mother Nature.
• and no, I’m not having any contractions.  A few cramps/back spasms here and there, but nothing that lasts longer than me going “OUCH” and rubbing the owie spot. 

Now I appear to have reached “that” point.  The point where random friends and family have started checking in to make sure I haven’t had the baby and we decided to keep it a secret from all and sundry.  Really, peeps, when the baby is here, we will be shouting it from the rooftop.  The hospital has wireless internet for a reason.

We have an appointment tomorrow at the local photography place to get a formal sitting of me and Manly before the baby comes.  It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while, but the last few weeks I’ve been afraid that the baby would come at any point.  As of right now, I’m thinking that this kid is going to be just as stubborn, hard-headed, and opinionated as his parents — and he’s decided to prove the doctor wrong.  So we will get pictures made of us, and then we will go back again after he is here and have family portraits done.  One thing I really want to do is what one of my girlfriends did — she had portraits made every three months of her little girl and mailed them out to all of us so that we could keep track of her during the first year (she is living 6 hours away so we don’t see her often). 

They’ve started a set of delivery date squares for me at work.  The earliest date (from what I was told) is this Sunday afternoon at 2:00 and the latest is November 11.  I don’t really want to think about either of those coming true.  My girlfriend at work is fairly confident that I’ll be the weekend of the 24th.  We are really similar physically, her son’s original due date was 11/7 (how’s that for freaky) and his birthday is the 25th.  I personally am just hoping for an October baby so that I can cram him into the “Baby’s First Halloween” onesie that got passed to me from Jessica.  Cause if next year is baby’s first halloween, he ain’t going to fit into that outfit.

And now I’m distracted by someone rolling around and my belly moving … have no idea anymore what I was going to say.  Oh well, couldn’t have been that important.

I’ve apparently reached “that” point — where all the women in my office (especially those about my mother’s age) pass me in the hall, look at me with pity, and go “Oh, honey, when are you due?”

My boss even said that he could tell I was there when I waddled into his office yesterday. 

My pelvis feels like it’s trying to split down the joint in the front (depending on how far down he’s curled up) and it hurts to get up and walk.  My hands ache in the joints because they’ve gotten so swollen.  I keep seeing mucus-y stuff when I go potty, but nothing doing. 

I know that this all means that he isn’t ready yet, but I am definitely there.

That’s just maddingly unhelpful. Why are these things never clear? … that’s even more than less than unhelpful.

– Jack Sparrow

Still no contractions, still hurting every time I have to stand up, and now it appears that I’ve lost 2 lbs.  So all signs point to “GO!” and yet nothing is moving.

So I’m going to go do some more laundry.  No, not because I’m nesting, but because I’m in terror that once the baby comes, my mother-in-law will come over, see the quality of my housekeeping, and decide that I AM the complete slacker that she always thought I was.

And maybe I’ll have another english muffin …

I had my 35 week appointment yesterday, and I was very much NOT expecting to hear that I’m anywhere close to labor.  I was expecting to have at least five more weeks — the car seat is still in the box, I don’t have a bag packed, nothing’s washed …  there’s a LOT left to do. 

Quick stats (from what I remember — I think there are probably little bits of my brain still in the exam room from where my head exploded after hearing the doc tell me all that):

• gained (according to their scale) 4 lb in two weeks
• blood pressure still fine, I didn’t ask what it was or peek in my file
• got my strep B swab, so won’t know results for a little while
• his heartbeat is 140ish; it bounced between 139 and 150 depending on where she was holding the doppler
• I didn’t even ask what my fundal height was, he measured me but had already told me about the dilation so I was in shock
• the boy is head down; doctor said that he’ll probably have no problem fitting through my pelvis since he could already feel the skull
• and I know I should have asked about effacement, but he didn’t tell and I didn’t think about it at the time

Manly was/is thinking that this past weekend may have contributed to the dilation.  I took Friday off and we worked on getting the nursery to be, well, a nursery instead of an office.  We have a split level house, and I ended up carrying all my 47 billion textbooks downstairs, which required a whole lotta trips up and down the stairs.   A long afternoon, and I was definitely feeling it in my calves and sweating by the time we were done.  Then Saturday we went on a Ghost Walk downtown — it wasn’t a really long trip, maybe a few miles spread out over 2 1/2 hours, but still a good clip.  Sunday I went to both Sam’s and the grocery store to get stuff (another few hours on my feet).  And finally on Monday, we drove up to Chattanooga and spent the day at the Aquarium.  We went through both buildings, as well as walking around the plaza to eat lunch, go to the fudge shop, and stop by Ben & Jerry’s. 

I think that all that walking probably didn’t slow anything down, but I also feel like this probably was already in motion.  After my appointment, I went back to work.  Right before I left last night, I ran to the potty and … bloody show.  Which I know could have been triggered by the internal exam, but still another little sign that things are moving along.  Much less today — only tinged mucus, but at the same time, it feels like he’s beginning to engage.  My groin just aches, like someone kicked me in the crotch.  I had a dentist appointment today, and I can’t tell you how good it felt to be tipped backward while they were cleaning my teeth.  All that weight just lifted out of my hips and pelvis, and it felt comfortable for the first time in a while.  I hadn’t noticed how unpleasant I was feeling since it’s been gradually increasing over the last few weeks, but sitting back up after that, I realized how much pressure I’m actually feeling down there.  My left leg actually kind of feels like it wants to have a muscle cramp in my thigh, but never quite gets there.  Which makes me suspicious that there’s some pressure on my spine or tailbone hitting those nerves.  I’m not having any contractions per se, but I keep getting these rather sharp cramps/pains in my lower abs.  Which dr. google says could be braxton-hicks, or could be someone irritated at my position and punching me in my internal organs.  It’s hard to tell.

So now I’m about to get up and go wash some more clothes and get my bag packed for the hospital just in case.  It’s a day at a time now, from my point of view — even the doctor said yesterday that I could go into labor that night (obviously not) or I could walk around for weeks like I was (dear god, please no, I understand now why people WANT to go into labor to make the discomfort go away).  Either way, I’ll keep somebody in the loop and if something happens, that’s why text messages were invented.  So thanks everybody for the good thoughts!

7 years ago Monday, I walked down the aisle and said “I do” to my future with Manly. 

Yesterday, I was told, “He’s head down, you’re 1 cm dialated, and you’re probably not going to make it to term.”

And now we wait.

Results from appt yesterday:

• I really need to shave my legs (no, they didn’t say that, but I wasn’t expecting a pants-off visit and I was quite embarrassed)
• I gained 1 lb in the last month per their scale
• blood pressure is just fine
• baby’s heartbeat is 148 bpm
• fundal height ~ 33 cm
• my cervix is still long/thick/closed
• something I never would have guessed, but it came up in the childbirth class and I had to confirm — my OB will do the circumcision for us.  Ask me why, but I never would have put that particular task to them.  Anyway, if we want it done (which I am leaving up to the Manly), they use the plastibell method.  Which I obviously need to google since I have no idea what that means.

Results from the hospital tour yesterday:

• They’ve remodeled the labor rooms since my SIL gave birth, and they are MUCH nicer.  Still no fridge in-room though. 
• If they think that I’m not going to eat or drink anything but ice chips while I’m in labor, they’re crazy. 
• Now that I’ve SEEN a 7 lb 14 oz baby up close (they had a fresh one in the nursery when we passed by), I am terrified.  How is something that BIG going to come out of me?  Those things aren’t little at all…

Results from looking in the mirror last night:

• Fuck.  That IS a set of stretch marks starting to develop.
• HOLY FUCK — my belly button just shed its skin.  I didn’t know that your belly button could peel. 

Basic news update:

I switched to 2-week appointments at my 29 week doctor visit, so I actually was back to see him last week.  Wanna know how to make your nurse go into a little frenzy of worry?  Mention that you’re seeing little white “floaties”.  That got me my blood pressure checked three times with two different cuffs, trying both arms to make sure that she was reading it right and that my BP wasn’t elevated (it wasn’t).  I also got to take my socks off and prove that my feet aren’t swelling into little mushrooms.  But it also means that they’re going to be watching me more closely from here on out since the vision changes are a symptom of pre-eclampsia.  However, as long as my blood pressure stays down, they’re going to let me go as long as possible.  If I develop more symptoms, we induce early.  Blegh.  On the positive side, my gestational diabetes came back in the not-even-close-to-worry range (108 and their “worry” range is 140).  So I don’t have to take the long test, and I don’t have to change my eating habits, yay! 

Fun update:

Had two showers in the last week — a small one with family is my hometown, and the “big” one with my friends here.  I still have to take stock of everything (I had no idea that everyone would be so generous!), but my general impression is that the only “big” things we still need are the car seat and stroller and a bath tub.  And about 15 billion baby gates, but those can wait if we need to — they’ll be more for the dogs than the baby for a while  Between the actual gifts and all the hand-me-downs that I’ve gotten so far, there’s not a whole lot that we’ll have to buy.  Looking back through my registry, the only things that I KNOW we’ll have to go pick up before he gets here are some more diapers, emery boards, a bumper for the crib, and thermometer covers. 

According to everyone who sees me now, I’m getting “SO big” or “huge” — your choice.  But I’m taking it as a compliment, because it’s just about always followed by some comment of how I’m “all baby”.  And it’s true; at this point, my scale at home has me up 20 lb, but I’m just now getting to the point where my pre-pregnancy pants don’t fit anymore (minus the giant belly that’s made them not zip for a WHILE now).  With 8 weeks to go, I don’t think I’m going to quite make my goal of gaining only 25 lbs, but I don’t think I’ll go over that by too much.  Anyone who cares to watch can see the boy moving around inside me — my mom was having a blast this weekend doing that.  He’s not too big on kicking when anyone other than me is touching — he runs and hides and kicks somewhere else — but you can watch my belly wave and ripple as he rolls around and flips.  We were discussing the fact that Manly was a big baby (over 9 lb and 21?22? inches long), and comparing that to the distance between my ribs and my pelvis.  Yeah, there’s pretty much no where for the boy to go but out in front of me.  My belly button hasn’t “popped”, which from what I hear is a good thing, but it has definitely flattened out.  Very weird to me to know what the inside of my belly button looks like.  *TMI warning here* my b.oobs are MASSIVE.  I was NOT little beforehand by any means, and I’m at the point where I need to buy ANOTHER size up just in my pregnancy bras (I’ve already gone through one round).  From what I have been told, they’ll go up even MORE closer to delivery.  This terrifies me.  As is, I’m afraid they’ll never go back to “normal” after this (my “normal” is still rack-o-doom).  And since I am planning on breastfeeding, I’m not expecting them to go back down for, um, a while.  Overall, body image hasn’t been a problem for me this whole time.  There have been a few weeks where I was all “GAH!  I’m gaining a million pounds if I keep up this rate” but then I won’t gain anything for a week or two.  My average has been … average.  I pretty much gained the first trimester 5 lbs that are recommended, and then I’ve been .5-1 lb each week.  All my aunts last week were saying that I was “just like my mom” — gaining just a little weight, and then losing it all when the baby comes.  Hopefully, I will be like that, especially if breastfeeding does for me like all the internet experts predict and helps me drop the pounds afterwards. 

I’m starting to reach the point where I’m more excited than worried.  I’ve mentioned to Manly that I’m so happy the boy is such an active baby — on the few occasions where I have started to worry more than was probably necessary, I have been able to take a deep breath, sit still for a few minutes, and focus on feeling him move around inside.  Just those little flutters and kicks are enough to bring back my calm.  He’s okay, I’m okay.  I think it’s helping me as well to expect the first few weeks of his life to be absolutely miserable.  I’ve been fortunate enough to have enough friends with babies who are truthful about how hard it is to have already knocked a lot of the rose off my glasses.  Manly’s planning on taking a week off when the boy comes, my parents will be up for either that week or the week after (my dad works a weird swing shift, and he’s asked for vacation on his every-other “short” week around my delivery date), and my in-laws are here in town and Manly has assured me that his mom would fall all over herself to come over and help (which, given our outside-of-the-blog-family-circumstances, I believe.  Manly = golden child, if that gives you any idea).  So there will be hands around if/when I need them.  So I’m getting to really enjoy these last few weeks as much as I think I can — honestly, I’m still not all that uncomfortable.  I’ve started swelling just a little bit, and bending over sucks, but other than that I feel more awkward than anything else.  I love it   Love it, love it, love it.