“Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!”

Edit and start blogging.  It’s a simple command, four words that can change your life.  I started my first blog to keep in touch with my friends over a year ago.  But since then, I’ve realized that I need a separate space to air my thoughts about pregnancy, motherhood, and my failure at both of them.  So welcome to my new apartment, the small space I rent for myself and keep apart from the rest of my life.

As we travel this path, I want to point out that you will be seeing a singular compartment of my personality.  If you’re deeply interested (and don’t know about my past blogging efforts) you can request the address of my “home” blog where I keep the rest of my adventures.  I won’t promise to share it with you, but I might if you ask nicely and promise to be discrete about it.

For now, let’s just start with the title of this blog:
out·land·ish: adjective

1. freakishly or grotesquely strange or odd, as appearance, dress, objects, ideas, or practices; bizarre: outlandish clothes; outlandish questions.
2. having a foreign appearance.
3. remote from civilized areas; out-of the-way: an outlandish settlement.
4. Archaic. foreign; alien.

no·tion: noun

1. a general understanding; vague or imperfect conception or idea of something: a notion of how something should be done.
2. an opinion, view, or belief: That’s his notion, not mine.
3. conception or idea: his notion of democracy.
4. a fanciful or foolish idea; whim: She had a notion to swim in the winter.
5. an ingenious article, device, or contrivance; knickknack.
6. notions, small articles, as buttons, thread, ribbon, and other personal items, esp. such items displayed together for sale, as in a department store.

For me, this idea that I can get pregnant has become an outlandish notion.  Manly and I are going on a year and nine months of believing that it’s possible, but so far we’ve been proved wrong.  In nine days, I have my first RE appointment to try to find out what’s going on.